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waiting

-Waiting- by Alan Joyce

We all wait at times,
time but waits for no man.
The seed that was planted may eventually grow.
The train that arrives perpetually slow.
A first kiss that never seems to come.

We all wait at times.
I wait for myself to arrive.
Waiting on inline, it’s the waiting on that passes time.
Enveloped & antagonistic like aged wine.
Always waiting, I hate to wait, to wait in line.

I hate this anger that is mine,
its alway waiting at my door.
Waiting like a cheap whore.
No patience has me angry,
no paitience to sit still.

I hate to wait & to be ill.
This pain that never leaves my side,
the anger monster in clear sight.

Oh how I wait & hate to wait.
To be late is worse still & cross I am.
We wait to be born our unborn wait.
Mothers pregnant 9 months great.

I wait to die, to be as one.
I wait to see the great devine.
I wait though, still in line..
I’m always fucking waiting.

I wait to collect my welfare cheque,
I wait for medical help before I quit.
Call & wait for pickup.

The pizza man is the door again.
This time they enjoy the wait.
Anticipation salutations & salvation.
Did he bring the coke?

The high before the hit we wait,
alone in empty sheds we bake.
High like moon beams in a cake.
We wait further, quietly for death’s knock.

This morbid tale I write.
I wait this time now still, in mindset weak.
Why can’t we speed along the clouds?,
when others wait in seas of smitten.

My kitten waits to be a cat.
My cat waits to be a tree.
I wait, just for me.

We always fucking wait, I hate the wait.
A chase is good but wait, theres more.
I can’t take this fucking mess no more.
We all should just be as we are.

For who else can we be I say?,
some pray but hey why bother in the end?
It’s always going to get you after all.
More so then time, as time it doesn’t wait.

It ticks on in time magnificent & perpetual.
Everlasting waitless state some call it faith.
I don’t know why we cry, perhaps its all the sadness.
Perhaps its just the time to let it all come free.

I think I want to end my life today to say good bye in tears.
To release the anguish & the pain thats built up causing fear.
A rational fear to live & wait, to wait your turn to die,
my numbers always at the end. I sit & wait some more.
Help is never far but living is a disease & death sets you free.

Tune in tune out take a whole lot of wait & then some more.
They say that it heals, time they say, a lot they are but pawns in
a timeless, tireless, universe.

Oh how I now wait to die, to feel the pain subside,
to feel my body drift in to a comfortable happy place.
Im sorry. I will wait for you here.

 

my emotional roller coaster ride.
Good bye.

 

I sure write to remember,  & sure write to forget,
some sadness is avoidable & hasn’t left head yet. 

Body is twisted turmoil has hold,
passing thoughts linger some unprocessed to unfold.

Beacon of depression screaming for air,
voices ganging up inside, in need of special care.

Medicine excites medicine titillates,
fast paced race begins & boom shut down,
it all begins again.

Slowly are the voices muffled as amused stoned children play.
Upsurge, uprisen, the drummer boy taps a familiar tone upon my brow.

Why am I in pain when all around is colours of the rainbow,
I float off on a cloud of mario & Jesus, where is my golden coins?

I call but not but one answers, my Christ is that you Darwin?
I learn English from the book & speak & walk upright.

Evolved have I, not from egg, not from seed, not from harvest or a feed but from Jew.

Like you travel from your head & visit lands of time & wait to be opened like a ship wrecked bottle awaits it’s contents to be read.

I have found peace in a tablet, I have found answers in places most wont go. I can see vividly when all around see black.

I is aware not am, but whom are you with thoughts so impure.
Judge on with dissalussion, for a single mind is a beyond convention.

contacless payment, installation, recycled tecnology, nothing beats 
the reinivention of one self.

The day an eye went away – Alan Joyce

So you see and so it was the way it’s ment to be.
The truth was plain and juxtaposed,

Same old story.
Same old show.

Eye was aching, pain was breaking,
veins   dillated, pulils   strained.

Red rolling, dried eyed goo.
Eyelash lashed on pools of blue.

Retina enlighted from cornea  exposure,
post traumatic syndrom on pupils blue.

Ciliary muscle twitching now,  snow falls
on empty ground. Light it burns from mother sun.

Exposed vessels become one.
One love, one eye.

One for the show, blurred vision isnt fun.
Drops on, drops off, drops in,drops out.

Passing colours now are one.
One love, one eye.

Chart stood still.
Lone characters danced and played like children in a orphanage at christmas.
Like a priest with an alter boy.
Like Jackson with bubbles.
Like puberty in a teenager.
Like a bird on wire.
Like cat with a mouse.

Reading focused correct and true.
20 vision was all to do. Work cut out to see it so.
The facts were simply crystal clear.

Trick Er Treat

Pookies at the door again
gave em all we had

Banging door like drum they were
kids just having fun

Dressed up like Krugger
Fingers knifed up ready to go

Black Cloth Drapped over
Where was I to be?

My eyes were wild
my mind it was that sharp

My temper raged
The door It opened

BOOHA HA I laughed

Laughter heckeled
Beneath the mask of three

A PRESENT IF YOU WILL!

SHOW ME SOME CHOCLATE
AND WE SHALL LET YOU LIVE

WE WANT TO EAT YOU UP
TO FEAST UPON YOUR SOUL

TO TAKE YOUR IDENTITY
AND GO AND CLAIM YOUR DOLE

WERE HERE ON A MISSION
WE CAME HERE ON A WIM

WERE THE KINDA MONSTERS
THAT FEED UPOON YOUR SKIN

YOUR EYES ARE KINDA SHINY
YOUR LIPS LOOK FULL OF GOO

WE CAN CHOP YOU UP IN TO TINY
BITS AND BOIL YOU IN A STEW!

SO MR WHERES OUR CANDY?
BE QUICK NOW DONT BE LATE

AS WERE EVER SO IMPATIANT
AS OUR PARAENTS ARE AT YOUR GATE.

THE END.

FRESH

Beauty, beholds the beholder
Broken, beaten, bashed and bold
Raped , thorn, gashed and bruised

Cut, slashed, hacked and cracked
Slapped, punched, pinned and kicked.

Beauty, beholds the beholder
Fair lady cries no tears
No one listens to tales of past

Induced, reduced abused and used
Rarely upright, blood trickles downwards.

Beauty, beholds the beholder
Dolled up, makeup, cleans up well
Bruise on face left leg swells
Arms broken, fingers in a mess

Thorn clothes, slashed throat
Blood upoon your dress

Beauty, becomes the beholder

Phone rings,
Cops come quick
No trick deep shit

Door breaks, gunfire
Laydown, loud sounds

More shots fired,
Hospital call,

Game over.

Emerald

Green from where she came
Divided but not conquered
Land as pure as water
Seen with eyes of green
In war and times of slaughter

A land forgiving a land forlorn
A land of mountain and of mourn
A proud place some call her home
A precious land where we belong

Some fight on, some say noubt
The land is silent as the truth wins out
This tiny spec in a world so huge
Yet countries so vast can’t fill her shoes

The End.

Calmen Days,
“My son, my son your time will come
and this there is no doubt
But the love you have
and the love you give
is enough to get you through

Forgiven by me is the things
that youve done
So worry about it none

Because one day
when your older
you will be a man”